This is the three main types of conversations that most staff members are involved in. Each has its own structure; basic assumptions; goals and objectives; strategies; and possible outcomes.
Problems arise when the conversation style is unconscious and automatic. For example, most lawyers are trained and funded by soldiers. They must be unconsciously qualified for the skills of the debate.
When chatting with a partner at a famous law firm, we talked about the lawyer's interpersonal skills. I expressed my professional opinion. He said: "You can argue a good argument and excel in winning a lawsuit. But these skills don't help you build relationships." He smiled. "This is what my wife has been telling me."
The differences between the three modes of communication - debate, discussion and dialogue - may seem subtle, but they have far-reaching implications for conflict and cooperation issues.
Debate style: from
This has proven to be one of the most common unconscious default styles. This relationship with the war metaphor is closer than the other two.
o Content includes ideas and facts that support ideas.
o The purpose of the debate is to win - defeat each other.
o The relationship between the two parties is an opponent. Strategies are to attack their ideas or arguments by defending their strengths and defending their arguments.
o The reason for listening to each other is to find that their ideas and confidence are flawed.
o The atmosphere is generally tense and lively.
o The possible outcome is polarization.
People rarely end the debate and persuade each other. It may hurt feelings. If the debate is formal and intentional, then the losing party may be disappointed. However, in the workplace, feelings may be stronger and longer lasting.
Discussion style: from
This is another very common way of talking in many workplaces.
o The purpose of the discussion is to exchange views.
o This relationship is a colleague, acquaintance or friend.
o Strategies are to volatize simultaneously or sequentially, sometimes exploring these ideas further.
o The purpose of the conversation is to convince, decide or sometimes impress and entertain.
o The main reason for listening is to find opportunities to contribute your own ideas.
o Content is mainly ideas, facts and opinions.
o Depending on the theme, the ambience can be mild or lively and sometimes heated.
o The possible outcome is some form of status quo. People usually discuss without profoundly changing their thoughts or beliefs.
A colleague once described the discussion as two people, or a group that threw "idea discussion" to each other like a sport.
Dialogue style: from
The least common pattern is most likely to turn conflicts into cooperation.
o The purpose of the dialogue is to understand, understand and connect.
o This relationship is first and foremost human.
o Strategy is to share, ask, sympathize, recognize and listen.
o The main reason for listening is to better understand each other and to find commonalities and interesting differences.
o Content includes feelings, experiences, and appropriate personal [not necessarily private] information.
o The feeling that the atmosphere is usually open, dynamic, and ultimately a relief.
o Possible outcomes include increased mutual understanding, deeper self-understanding, new, shared meaning, and clearer work relationships and work.
Choose dialogue power to cooperate
Start watching your colleagues in the conversation. Use the proposed criteria and practice to see if they are primarily debating, discussing or participating in the conversation. Compare the results they are trying to achieve with the style of conversation they are using. What did you observe?
Create a conscious plan for important conversations already on your calendar. Or think about the important working relationships you can improve through good conversation.
With the help of a coach or skilled communicator or your own quiet resources, please plan your conversation with the list below.
Orignal From: Three ways of communicating - debate, discussion and dialogue
No comments:
Post a Comment