Conscious communication is the number one tool for any effort to succeed, and Les Brown says one of my favorite motivational speakers. He said that communication determines whether people vote for you; writes a check for you; invests in what you do; and buys your services and products.
Communication is the key to building and maintaining relationships in the home, work and market. The relationship without communication is a pistol without bullets. However, mastering communication is not an easy task. It takes time and effort. It also needs to understand that effective communication includes the three most important triads: related, connected, and listening.
We should also know that many communication experts agree that effective communication is not one-way. This is not just talking, speaking, or even convincing the other side. Both parties should agree by encoding and decoding the transmitted message. Although effective communication speaks, it also includes listening. The latter is the most important part of the equation. In this regard, communications that are not actively listening are incomplete.
Therefore, when we communicate with our loved ones, colleagues and partners, if our desire is to convey our message and win their trust, we should also ensure that we listen to their stories. We need to listen to their feedback and make sure to read their unresolved questions, concerns and concerns they may have. If you don't actively listen, it's hard to choose these signals. This is why many relationships and partnerships are being destroyed. When people are asked why their relationship fails, they say, "He or she doesn't listen to me."
When we have active listening skills, not only do we successfully communicate in a given instance, but we also allow this relationship to continue. Once people see us listening, they will be encouraged to stay in touch with us. They believe that we are respected and trustworthy people. They believe in our time. They also know that we care and love them. This is because listening is the expression of love. This is what Paul Tillich said: the first responsibility of love is to listen.
What is the method and what is active listening? First of all, what is it that is actively listening? When the other person speaks, it is not just listening to our ears and nodding. It needs to give us the whole existence - our ears, our minds, our souls and our hearts. We know that, as Peter Drucker said, when we heard "nothing to say", we have fully developed active listening.
The challenge is why many of us don't listen to it wholeheartedly? One or more of the following reasons may apply. We may be:
- Focus on personal urgency and urgent matters. We may consider the issues discussed in our section, rather than giving us full attention when we talk to each other.
- Once the speaker is finished, we will reply. Sometimes we may not even wait for this person to complete his message; we can interrupt and make sure we hear our opinions.
- Concentrate on prejudice against people, his beliefs or information. When we are biased against the speaker, we may not be able to hear what he is saying.
- Interfered by external factors. These factors may be related to the environment, the people around us, and/or the manner in which the speaker is dressed, style and movement. We catch the eye and turn our attention to things that aren't related to what other people are trying to expand. We silently criticize how this place should be organized; this person wears, acts and acts, not listening to what he says.
- Compared with the heart, our emotions. We hear some violations of the terms or ideas, or the moment we disagree with the speaker; we may encounter disagreement and no longer listen to the reminders of the conversation. We can't wait to react angrily or leave the conversation.
The question is how can we be self-deprecating and start listening actively?
- First, we need to see listening as a key factor in effective communication.
- We should also train ourselves to listen consciously. Listening is not always my strength. These days, I consciously train myself to listen until another person completes his/her thoughts. Before I make a statement, I will train myself to ask for clarification and follow-up questions. I have got some results so far, but I am still working hard.
- Join an organization like Toastmasters to give you the opportunity to improve communication and listening skills.
- Get feedback from people around you to get the information as you listen.
Orignal From: Active listening: key elements of effective communication
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